From Safe Spaces to Curious Spaces: Creating Room for Real Growth
When I first started working in higher education, I kept hearing the term “safe space.” It sounded great—an environment where people could be their authentic selves, speak their truth, and exist without fear of judgment. A safe space, as defined by Merriam-Webster, is meant to be “free of bias, conflict, criticism, or potentially threatening ideas.”
Sounds ideal, right? Especially for those of us from marginalized communities, where safe spaces outside of our own homes can feel rare—if they exist at all. But the more I trained on discrimination and bystander intervention, the more I noticed something: not everyone embraced the term. Some people visibly cringed when I mentioned it. Others seemed hesitant to engage at all. And I started to wonder—can a space truly be “safe” when you’re surrounded by people you don’t know?
Are Safe Spaces Really Changing Anything?
I remember a conversation with a male student who attended a discussion on sexual assault. Afterward, he pulled me aside and said:
"I felt like I was intruding. What am I supposed to say? That I’m not one of the bad ones? That I’ve never been a jerk? No one’s going to believe me, and I just have to sit there, lumped into the mix like I did something wrong. I want to listen, but if you want me to be part of a solution, I need to feel like I can actually speak."
That conversation stuck with me. Can safe spaces create change if the very people we need to reach don’t feel comfortable participating? If people shut down because they’re afraid of saying the wrong thing, are we really moving the conversation forward? Who willingly enters a space where they feel like they’ll be made out to be the problem?
Don’t get me wrong—marginalized voices deserve to be heard. After being silenced for generations, people want to share their stories. And storytelling is powerful—it changes minds and hearts. But change doesn’t happen in isolation. It requires engagement. It requires accountability. It requires discomfort.
Enter: The Curious Space
Instead of trying to force safety in spaces that demand discomfort, I offer my participants something different: A Curious Space.
A Curious Space isn’t about comfort—it’s about growth. It’s about asking the hard questions and answering with honesty and courage. It’s about stepping into discomfort on purpose, knowing that it’s the only way we move forward.
In a Curious Space, we:
✅ Enter with consent, knowing the conversation may be challenging.
✅ Commit to engaging with curiosity, not defensiveness.
✅ Accept that discomfort is part of the process—for everyone.
This isn’t easy work. But I’ve seen firsthand that the most powerful change happens in Curious Spaces. Spaces where people don’t just sit and listen but actively engage—where they’re willing to challenge their assumptions, confront their biases, and make room for new perspectives.
Because at the end of the day, safe spaces can be necessary, but curious spaces are transformational.
